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home on a friday night :(
betsy the bisexual is not sure what to do -
should she adopt a cat, a dog or a baby from timbaktu?
she wears a push-up bra beneath all that plaid
and she listens to Texas while making out with men

Writer's Block: First love
At what age do you think kids should start dating? How old were you when you went on your first date? Was there anything you would change about the experience? How do you think it shaped your expectations?

just thought that this is an interesting question. i think my 'firstest' date was with a girl when i was around 14 years old. she was kinda like my childhood friend, we lived in the same neighbourhood and she was the only girl. so i mustered up the courage to ask her out on a cycling date at bishan park. and i actually crashed my bicycle. didnt really end well, i mean, i ended up gay, didnt i?

i can't really remember my first date with a guy though. i mean, i went out with guys solo but i wouldn't say that those were dates. but a memorable first date was probably with dave. it wasn't a good date either. he brought me to sakae sushi and 'forced' me to eat sushi - i don't really take seafood, but i didnt want to come across as a spoilt brat so i swallowed down sashimi, sea urchin and whatnots - after such i got a phone call from my mum asking me to hurry down to the hospital, that my dad might not make it through the night. my dad passed away a few days later and dave and i were together for about 7 months before sc came along (yes, he was the other woman!).

so the key to a good first date is probably not to have high expectations. and if you like the guy enough, don't be yourself!!!! you need to hook him down so that he will be interested in you for a few more dates before you reveal your true self!!

how to love a superhero #1
i haven't been writing much lately. there's this version of ugly duckling i really want to write, but i can't flesh out the plot. it's supposed to be titled 'the fugly duckling' and he is not gonna be a swan at the end of the story. in fact, he will be living 'uglily ever after'.

i was looking through my writing pad earlier and there are just so many false starts and half-hearted attempts at my writing. there's this one story that i really love, but i only completed a couple of paragraphs. it's titled 'how to love a superhero', it's about a man with a superhero costume fetish who fell in love with an actual superhero. i actually did some research for the main character, who's a meteorologist and you know, it's always the boring ones who can really surprise you with their sexual appetites.

anyhow, here's my weak attempt at a gay lit, hopefully by posting it here i will be more inclined to write some more.

how to love a superhero

As a meteorologist, i was taught to assume that conditions will not change. '"Tomorrow equals today", boys and girls, that is a lesson in weather forecasting as well as a lesson in life.' something that my university professor used to tell us. And 10 years later, i am staring at a satellite image of a could-be hurricane and wondering how my life could change so drastically.

"Tomorrow equals today" - a meteorologist motto that has followed me for the past 10 years has failed me when the fucking love of my life decided that he wants the complete family package - a wife, two children and a big nice house - and he walked out on me.

I have given five years of my life to him, and all i get in return was a simple apology. like a scene out of a sappy love movie, i watched as the door closed in slow motion. it wasn't until 2.30 in the morning before it hit me. this is it, i am finally single. free. woo-fucking-hoo. with the comforter draped around me, i reached out to my ipod and played the sappiest love songs i could find. with whitney and mariah blasting over my headphones, i sobbed myself into sleep.

i woke up a little after 7am and my first reaction was to reach over to hug him. but as soon as i stretched over, i realised he don't live here anymore. and everything else - the ipod on the floor, the soggy tissues - came rushing back to me. i picked up the phone and did something that i haven't done in years.

i called in sick.

(no subject)
i've found a new use for my dust-collecting ps3! i just found out last night that i'm able to stream videos and music from my macbook using vuze and watch it on my tv!!! hello big screen porn!!!!!

i am also attempting to fully utilize my ps3 by playing dragon age origin. i bought the mac version but i wanted the whole cinematic experience without the lags and crashes. i'm hooked to it and i have a huge huge crush on my sidekick alistair. he is cute, has the funniest one-liner and great voice. this is the type of game i'm playing - he is straight so as a male character i can't have sex with him BUT there's a bisexual character (a rogue elf) that i can invite to my tent. according to the guide book, i can even have foursomes! how awesome!

yes yes, it's sad that i'm so attached to a video game character. :(

jumping the shark?

incredibly scary and extremely paranoid
i had this nightmare a few weeks ago that woke up at 4.30am on a monday morning. a guy was torturing me (and not in a good sexual way) by breaking the bones in my legs. and then he gave up and called the hotel room service to bring a hammer. from what i can remember, he was gonna blind, mute and amputate me.

it was probably the scariest dream i ever had. the weird thing is that i seemed to be resigned to the fact that there's nothing i can do. i wasn't yelling, crying or screaming for help. i was just lying there, waiting for him to get it over and done it. i woke up right after he made the call to room service and it really freaked me out.

i wrote this story after i had the dream. it goes something like this - a 16 year old boy who had the similar dream. he became extremely paranoid about the people around him, he started visiting forums and websites about psychopaths and serial killers and he developed a very sick interest in torturing.

when he was in his twenties he finally mustered up enough courage to meet with a guy from a psychopath forum. just a friendly chat, he thought. but in the hotel room bed, naked and blind-folded, he heard something similar to a grinding knife. and he smiled, he finally met the torturer of his dream.

it's probably the sickest story i've ever written. but there's a hint of bittersweet romance in it, i think.

one more bad excuse
i watched shelter a while back and it remains to be one of my favourite gay films. considering that pickings for gay films are rather slim and you always get low budget, crappy productions *coughs*adam&steve*coughs* but shelter is really good. it has such a simple storyline but the character development is really good. we see how zach, the supposedly straight surfer boy, giving up his dream to take care of his nephew and ultimately falling in love with his best friend's brother...culminating with a hot passionate make-out scene. one that gives me instant hardon every time i watch it. ;)

and the movie has one of the best songs ever. lie to me by shane mack. and this line is so bittersweet - 'couldn't you offer me a little dishonesty, promise me you'll try, you'll lie to me.'

here's the music video and it's a little bit NSFW.


carl & ellie
to show my support for Up in the upcoming Oscars!

probably the most touching 4 minutes of the movie.

(no subject)
watched two movies last week - christmas carol 3d and 2012.

christmas carol was horrible...it was really bad. i'm thankful that i don't have to pay to watch them because i would certainly stab my eyes with the 3d glasses. slow pacing, long dialogues and too much of jim carrey. the only saving grace is the awesome 3d effects, there were times during the movie when i was so tempted to stick out my hands to 'touch' the falling snow.

2012, on the hand, was an awesome hollywood blockbuster. i mean, apart from the cheesy one-liners, i really enjoyed the movie. and it's really good to see john cusack in a hit movie. i've been walking around the office telling people that they are not getting up the ship.

i'm not sure how true the theory behind 2012 is, but if i'm dying, the entire world's population better be dying together as well.

and i've got to post this.

matt alber - end of the world

just want to share this beautiful song with y'all.

Matt Alber – End Of The World

I don’t want to ride this roller coaster
I think I want to get off
But they buckled me down
Like it’s the end of the world
If you don’t want to have this conversation
Then you better get out
Cause we’re climbing to our death
At least that’s what they want you to think
Just in case we jump the track
I have a confession to make
It’s something like a cork screw

I don’t wanna fall, I don’t wanna fly
I don’t wanna be dangled over
The edge of a dying romance
But I don’t wanna stop
I don’t wanna lie
I don’t wanna believe it’s over
I just wanna stay with you tonight

I didn’t mean to scream out quite so loudly
When we screeched to a halt
I’m just never prepared
For the end of the ride
Maybe we should get on something simpler
Like a giant balloon
But I’ve got two tickets left, and so do you
Instead of giving them away to some stranger
Let’s make them count, come on
Let’s get back in line again and ride the big one

Don’t you want to fall, don’t you want to fly
Don’t you want to be dangled over
The edge of this aching romance
If it’s gonna end, then I wanna know
That we squeezed out every moment
But if there’s nothing left can you tell me why
That it is you’re holding onto me
Like it’s the end of the world